Paul and I woke up with tremendous burden for Gates and a fleshly awareness of the difficulties that today's x-rays may present for him as a post traumatized child as well as what the results of these x-rays might tell us lies ahead for him. We are thankful that he doesn't have to face any of this alone... and equally thankful that we don't either. God's peace surpasses human understanding.
The prayers of our loving family in God and name provided a forcefield for us and we knew that God had gone before us in providing this opportunity for Gates with an orthopedic surgeon who has had his eye on Gates since we first received his paperwork. Our little Marie, cherished of God was our link to this Christ following professional and we are so grateful for the opportunities that continue to flow throughout our lives and the lives of our children as the result of God's loving us with other people.
While I was playing with Gates this morning I started to talk to him about x-ray pictures. I held my hand in different positions and used the Chinese words for don't move and laughed saying "Smile hand". Then we pretended to take xrays of feet and legs and my nose. We always counted to five before I moved. I knew once the drama began to unfold was no time to try to communicate this to Gates and restraints just are not an option for him. We continued to pray that God would cocoon Gates's budding trust in us so that he did not close off on us as "one of them", those who couldn't be trusted and who would ultimately hurt him. This is a very likely phenomenon with PTSD and neglected/abused kids. Some advisors felt that we should wait another three months but his growth made it needful for us to seek professional opinion before a window of opportunity such as casting or bracing rather than additional surgeries could close for him. We believed that with the 'checking in' call that came two weeks ago from Dr.s office that
we were being directed to go forward.
Our precious Marie Popkin works in this office and she arranged for lollipops and nixed the white coats for us, arranging Gates to be seen after all other patients had left and arranging with the radiologist to linger on Gates's behalf.
When we arrived the radiologist allowed me in with Gates and left the door open so that Daddy could stand closely by. I was able to cradle Gates with his head resting on my arm so that he never heard that 'crinkly' pillow and the hand that held his knees, his feet and hips were Mammas. There is a certain 'risk' in this as children may do one of two things depending on where they are in the healing process. He might have received comfort with my presence (even at just 12 weeks home, unexpected by the social workers) or he might have disconnected and shut me out causing him further emotional pain and a sense of 'aloneness' that is not easily recovered to 'felt safety' within the relationship. I spoke to him softy in both Chinese and English, he nodded. I counted in the same way as when we were playing slowly to five as we took pictures of his feet and legs then came the part Paul was dreading, lying him back on the table. Paul had witnessed Gates almost dislocating his own shoulder to get away from the scale in China, big equipment is big drama for him. Our social workers said that for children who have been where Gates has been it's like a torture victim returning to the scene of the torture. There is no reasoning with someone that afraid.
God led me gently. I slid the paper pillow further away on the table and I rested Gates's head onto the crook of my arm and I said, "Buie Teng, Bi Dong, I love you." (No hurt. Don't move) then "One. Two. Three." His eyes fixed on mine and there was only one word to describe what I saw in his watery eyes... trust. My heart stopped and God froze time for the two of us. Mother and Son... at last. I kissed his face as she said, "All done." and I said to Gates as I swooped him up, "The end!" he rubbed his face and we grabbed his stuffed puppy and headed for the waiting room. The Dr. came out to us after a few minutes, looked closely at Gates feet and checked circulation and all. We walked him around some and we were told that he is in wonderful condition. He needs no referral to pediatric surgeon or braces or casts. He has a flat foot deformity on the left foot and although his xrays show an 'abnormal' foot (clubbed side) there is no improving the precious working model God provided for him at the hands of some Brother or Sister who donated their time with Love Without Boundaries in providing this one well done procedure to a tiny orphan who needed surgery to be added to the 'hopefuls for families' baby group. Thank you Jesus please bless these awesome people who spend their vacations in developing countries saving lives and futures! Heroes every one of them. So are the people who donated funds to make it possible for these surgeries to take place.
Precious ones, the news is that there are no worries about Gates's growth creating new problems for him. Simply stated, "Gates is free to grow!" We'll see the Dr. again in a year!
Enjoy your week end. I know we will!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Gates of Iron.
Gates has an evaluation scheduled for tomorrow and I'll update as to what's recommended for his next step, orthopedic ally speaking. If casting or braces are in his future it's going to be a challenge for him as he can't leave a band-aid for five seconds. (smile). Whatever is ahead God is already there!
Gates woke up this morning, dressed himself as always (he loves his clothes) and came to me with this comment. "Outside Now." Amused, I asked him, "With pajama pants on and your shirt on backwards?" He patted his pants with that frown I love and asked, "What's Mamma pants?" I pretended to sleep with the folded hand thing and said, "You wear these when you sleep at night."
He said, "Oh." He changed and we had a lovely time pulling weeds outside. Gates mostly followed me around with the wagon but only after I promised to hose it out when we were done. He's protective of the wagon. Such a little manager our Gates. Paul said while in China that day he and Gates went to the zoo in Lanzhou someone commented that Gates was too bold when demanding that the tag in his shirt be removed as it was poking him. Paul said, "It's good he is
bold. His strength helped him live. He will be a strong man." Now after three months Daddy
is still having a hard time getting the reins out of Gates's hands. He is trusting us more though and maybe one day he will give us more control willingly. Our amazing little fighter! He is adored and so very sweet.
Gates woke up this morning, dressed himself as always (he loves his clothes) and came to me with this comment. "Outside Now." Amused, I asked him, "With pajama pants on and your shirt on backwards?" He patted his pants with that frown I love and asked, "What's Mamma pants?" I pretended to sleep with the folded hand thing and said, "You wear these when you sleep at night."
He said, "Oh." He changed and we had a lovely time pulling weeds outside. Gates mostly followed me around with the wagon but only after I promised to hose it out when we were done. He's protective of the wagon. Such a little manager our Gates. Paul said while in China that day he and Gates went to the zoo in Lanzhou someone commented that Gates was too bold when demanding that the tag in his shirt be removed as it was poking him. Paul said, "It's good he is
bold. His strength helped him live. He will be a strong man." Now after three months Daddy
is still having a hard time getting the reins out of Gates's hands. He is trusting us more though and maybe one day he will give us more control willingly. Our amazing little fighter! He is adored and so very sweet.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Gates at Three Months Home
Hi all,
Gates continues to do very well. After three months home he is really blooming! He is sleeping better, eating better, laughing more and he has stopped hiding food in his clothes! He has grown
nearly two inches and his weight has changed from 21lbs to 27lbs. He is better hydrated and his dry skin is healing nicely. He has a healthy glow and the raspyness in his voice has resolved along with the rickets sweats. With the addition couple of inches of growth he has begun to draw in his right foot a little (which is the clubbed one). We have an appointment with the ortho eval team next week.
Gates can sing all of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" He loves singing to himself. He sings about brushing his teeth or putting on his shoes or having bananas in his cereal. Too cute.
If he gets bumped into or pinches his finger when he crashes two cars together while playing he will run to me for comfort. This is so healthy for him! He is also a little clothes horse. He loves to choose from his dresser full of clothes. He will shake his head to my suggestions and say something like, "Mamma, Cars Movie" which means he wants the applicable shirt. Or he may say he wants Elmo underwear rather than Thomas the Train etc. I never thought about that before he came home... that he may be crazy about his new clothes. Still in 18 to 24 months clothes but his taste is more grown up. Very sweet.
Gates is very sensitive and also very compassionate. If I slip with the hot pad in the kitchen and yelp Gates will rush in from the living room and shout, "What Happin Mamma?!"
Gates LOVES Mickey Mouse and can sing "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse". He LOVES books. All kinds of books and music. Gates mimics our language by repeating a lot of the things his brother says verbatim. Bridger says, "Mamma I'm thirsty. " Gates says, "Mamma I'm thirsty." We call him the little mocking bird and he is asounding us with his ability to learn so quickly.
Thanks for being there for us. We love y'all!
Gates continues to do very well. After three months home he is really blooming! He is sleeping better, eating better, laughing more and he has stopped hiding food in his clothes! He has grown
nearly two inches and his weight has changed from 21lbs to 27lbs. He is better hydrated and his dry skin is healing nicely. He has a healthy glow and the raspyness in his voice has resolved along with the rickets sweats. With the addition couple of inches of growth he has begun to draw in his right foot a little (which is the clubbed one). We have an appointment with the ortho eval team next week.
Gates can sing all of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" He loves singing to himself. He sings about brushing his teeth or putting on his shoes or having bananas in his cereal. Too cute.
If he gets bumped into or pinches his finger when he crashes two cars together while playing he will run to me for comfort. This is so healthy for him! He is also a little clothes horse. He loves to choose from his dresser full of clothes. He will shake his head to my suggestions and say something like, "Mamma, Cars Movie" which means he wants the applicable shirt. Or he may say he wants Elmo underwear rather than Thomas the Train etc. I never thought about that before he came home... that he may be crazy about his new clothes. Still in 18 to 24 months clothes but his taste is more grown up. Very sweet.
Gates is very sensitive and also very compassionate. If I slip with the hot pad in the kitchen and yelp Gates will rush in from the living room and shout, "What Happin Mamma?!"
Gates LOVES Mickey Mouse and can sing "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse". He LOVES books. All kinds of books and music. Gates mimics our language by repeating a lot of the things his brother says verbatim. Bridger says, "Mamma I'm thirsty. " Gates says, "Mamma I'm thirsty." We call him the little mocking bird and he is asounding us with his ability to learn so quickly.
Thanks for being there for us. We love y'all!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Have a fun day!
Happy first day of October!
Gates has made some new discoveries this week:
The button in the fridge that makes the light go off and on.
The best way to get to the top shelf of the toy cabinet is not the ottoman.
Daddy always wakes up when you try to feed him something.
Gates giggles and laughs when he's not folding his arms and grunting at me. He says, "I love.." in front of everything right now.
Bridger says, "Can we get the mail with you?" Gates says "I love get the mail with you." then he'll say,"What's the mail?"
Gates has made some new discoveries this week:
The button in the fridge that makes the light go off and on.
The best way to get to the top shelf of the toy cabinet is not the ottoman.
Daddy always wakes up when you try to feed him something.
Gates giggles and laughs when he's not folding his arms and grunting at me. He says, "I love.." in front of everything right now.
Bridger says, "Can we get the mail with you?" Gates says "I love get the mail with you." then he'll say,"What's the mail?"
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